Rude Zuud Dialogue

Rude Zuud is a Solaris engineer and mechanic who assembles Kitguns – custom-built handguns made from Corpus technology. Her shop is located in Fortuna, to the right of the coolant canal when looking at the elevator, as opposed to the other vendors. She can often be heard angrily conversing with a split personality she calls “Chatter”.

Rude Zuud sells the blueprints for Kitgun components, which Tenno can then craft in their Foundry, and bring back to Zuud to be assembled into a Kitgun. Once the weapon has been mastered, it can be brought back to Zuud to be gilt, improving its stats and unlocking its true potential as a weapon, even giving it a name. If the Tenno does not wish to make their own Kitgun, Rude Zuud offers a daily special: a Kitgun pre-built from random parts. She also sells Pax Arcanes that can be slotted onto Kitguns, and she will also rename a Kitgun, or any secondary weapon, for a small fee. Lastly, she will accept gilt or mastered Kitguns as donations to the Solaris United resistance movement, rewarding the Tenno with Solaris United Standing.


Idle quotes

These are un-subtitled lines that Zuud shouts in the marketplace when she is not interacting with the Tenno.

“All right you punks! Kitguns, blasters, plasma throwers, whatever you need to do horrible things to horrible people. I could’ve been an architect, an engineer, a doctor, but no, I’m here, selling mechanised disarticulation to roving killers. Mother would be so proud. Kitguns, get your muckin’ Kitguns.”

“I was up all night making this crap for you ingrates. BUY something so I can get some sleep! Kitguns! Get master-crafted Kitguns, better than you ding-dongs deserve! Kitguns!”

“Kitguns, get your Kitguns! [static chatter] I’m a craftswoman, not some street corner huckster. [static chatter] Fine! GUNS GUNS GUNS GUNS GUNS GUNS GUNS! Happy?!”


Greeting the Tenno

(if the Tenno is new to Fortuna) “Oh. It’s you. [static chatter] Yes, yes they’re here. [static chatter] I do not like your attitude. [static chatter] You! We… [brief static] I am Zuud. Kitguns are what we do. Bring parts or purchase Chatter’s daily design. Just… do it quickly. [static chatter] I have people skills! I am very skilled at getting them to leave! [brief static]

“Whaddya need? Specify the target and I’ll sell you the tool.”

“I channel Chatter to craft guns unlike any other. [binary chatter] We craft Kitguns, fine. [chatter] Your neediness is profoundly unattractive! [static chatter] Kill-sticks like you’ve never seen, stranger. Click, bang, their limbs fall off. This pleases you, yes?”

“Guns guns guns! [static chatter] What? Look, I can’t talk to two people at once. [static chatter] No, not you. So whaddya want? [static chatter] Not you, the other you. SHADDUP. [sad chatter] You need a shooter, stranger? A little point-and-click murderiser? Zuud’s got more than you’ll ever need.”

(if the Tenno has just reached the rank Old Mate) “You are one of us, so Chatter says. So Eudico says. They’ve never steered me wrong, so… hello. Now. Go away!”

(if the Tenno is rank Old Mate) “The Business, good man. Always has been. Deserves a better protégé than Little Duck. Swanning off, breaking his heart. Pfft. Man should find himself a wife, don’t you think? Anyway, store’s open.”

(if the Tenno is rank Old Mate) “Smokefinger is an irritant. He brings us things. Pretty things. Useless things. Smokefinger knew our sisters, he says. We… did not have sisters. I do not like the way Chatter falls silent when he visits.”

(if the Tenno is rank Old Mate) “I like the children in the walls. Chatter makes requests, and the children bring me parts. Parts makes guns. At night the children perform music in the wall. Chatter sings. And I sleep.”

(if the Tenno is rank Old Mate)[happy chatter] Chatter is pleased with itself, friend. Pleased to aid your purpose. Keen to aid again. [static chatter]

(if the Tenno is rank Old Mate) “Chatter says Eudico feels guilty about things long past. Eudico worries Chatter means I’m not right in the braincase. It’s nice to have so many people thinking of me. Well, what do you need?”

(if the Tenno is rank Old Mate) “Yes, yes, hail the conquering hero. [happy chatter] Must we go through this every time? You were right, I was wrong, the Outworlder is amazing. [static chatter] Zip it. How may I assist?”

(if the Tenno is rank Old Mate) “Chatter was right about you, friend. [static chatter] I wish it wasn’t, couldn’t turn it off, [surprised chatter] grab me some peace, but no, [relieved chatter] Chatter is always right. So you are welcome and Chatter… [static chatter] keeps on… talking.”


Assembling a Kitgun if the Tenno has no Kitgun components

“Look, matey, without weapon components I can’t help you.”

“No parts, no weapon. Next!”

“I can’t do you a weapon… if you don’t have weapon parts. Get the weapon parts… and I can make you a weapon. Okay? Roger roger?”


Selecting a Kitgun component

“That’ll work.”

“Sure, why not.”

“Great! Top choice! Woo hoo! Balloons fall from ceiling, shove over lemme get this done.”


If the Tenno idles while selecting Kitgun components

[static chatter] Yeah, it’s a big decision, but I swear if this kid were any dumber they’d be a mineral.”

“Look matey, I appreciate the need to choose well. I only ask that you decide before you get here? I got other customers, y’know!”

“Until you got here and jammed up my day I’d forgotten what constipation could feel like.”


Assembling a Kitgun

“Well. All right. Here y’go.”

“Potshot a few lube cans, calibrate ‘er to your satisfaction. Otherwise, she’s flawless. As per.”

“Here y’go, just like you asked.”


Exiting store without purchase

“Fine. NEXT!”

“Are you sure you don’t want… [static chatter] I’m asking! Are you… [binary chatter] Ah, forget it.”

[static chatter] Sure, I’ll just jump the counter and make ’em buy something.”


Exiting store after purchase

“Keep your boots tight and your lips locked. Read me? Chek-chek.”

“Chek-chek.”

“If you go past Eudico ask if we’re still on for after work. [binary chatter] No, you can’t come. [static chatter] Ugh… as if I have a say in it anyway. [happy chatter]


Viewing Chatter’s daily special

[static chatter] Do what? This one? [cranky chatter] Very well, very well. Here, you. Outworlder. Kitgun. Buy it. Chatter tells me this is intended for you. [static chatter] Yes, yes, I told them!”

“Chatter said build – said you would be coming. You are meant for this Kitgun. So buy it. Buy it so I can get some muckin’ sleep!”

“Here. I have kept this for you. It would not… allow me to sell it to another.”

“Weighted! Balanced! Calibrated! The output of a lifetime’s focus! I would pair this with your focus, Outworlder, to achieve a second, far more violent, outcome.”


Gilding a Kitgun

“Beautiful. She got a name?”

“Pretty enough. What’s her name?”

[whistle] What’re ya gonna call her?”


Confirming the name of a Kitgun or other secondary weapon

“Yeah, that’ll do.”

“Yep. I reckon that fits.”

“Well, you’d best get goin’. Take care of that now. She’s some of my best work.”


Skipping the naming of a Kitgun after gilding

“Some things are what they are.”

“Seems like that works for her, I reckon.”

“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”


If the Tenno attempts to gild a Kitgun that is not Rank 30

“I ain’t gildin’ nothin’ without it bein’ battle-tested first. So git.”

“That little plinker ain’t fired near enough. Come back when you know its worth, then we can talk gildin’.”

“Nothin’ gets gilded without its worth bein’ known. Pretty sure there’s a moral in there somewhere.”


Donating a Kitgun

“You sure you wanna part with this? Alright. She’ll see good use.”

“Thanks. Fills a need.”

“Much obliged. Anything else?”


If the Tenno attempts to donate a Kitgun that is not Rank 30

“We can’t take anything that might let us down. Get us the good stuff.”

“We’ll take your guns, matey, but only if they’re worth it. Battle-tested.”

“Substandard. We can’t take that.”


Bidding farewell

[static chatter] [sigh] If it’s not someone living in my ears, it’s someone standing in my way! Will I ever have peace? [static chatter] I don’t think Eudico likes you. [sad chatter]

“Yes yes.”

“Whatever.”

“Go away.”


Rude Zuud’s story is told in the memory fragments scattered around the Orb Vallis. Her personnel file was shown during the Fortuna ARG, and she has additional dialogue in Operation: Buried Debts. She is mentioned in the dialogue of Eudico, The Business, Legs, Ticker, and the Ventkids, and in Eudico’s memory fragments.


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